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Realistic Advice; Getting Your Ex Back

By: Debbie Allen

Life can be difficult enough when you have a loving partner by your side, but when you try to go it alone even daily frustrations can be overwhelming. This is especially true after a break up. We go through feelings of despair, anger, hurt, depression; well, you get the idea and if you have experienced those feelings you are sure to understand what I mean. The ending of a relationship can be devastating. But if there was a solid foundation to that relationship it can most likely be saved. Getting your ex back is a real possibility.

As I said, the feelings that are experienced after a break up are not pleasant, but unfortunately each of us will have to work through them in our own way. I suggest that you actually put a time limit on how long you will allow yourself to cry and outwardly express your depression to the world. This may sound harsh but three to seven days should be plenty of time. That does not mean that you will not continue to be sad or that you will not cry anymore. It simply means that you will begin moving forward.

Take some time for yourself. Get acquainted with you being alone. Consider whether your relationship meant missing out on some of the things that you personally enjoy. Perhaps because you were involved in a relationship you gave up time with friends and family. Or maybe you have a hobby that has been put on hold. I just want you to think about anything at all that you might have missed out on during the time of the relationship and if it is healthy and beneficial to you try it again.

This is a time to rediscover you. I suggest that you take at least a week or two for this time. You should also be thinking about the relationship that just ended. Determine if it was a healthy one and if you really want to get your ex back.

In most cases a relationship can be saved. At this point you have worked through the worst of the feelings related to the break up and you have become a stronger individual because of it. You have also rediscovered or established new activities that are beginning to fill some of those empty hours that were so awkward.

At this point you should be ready to focus on getting your ex back. The time apart has provided the same opportunities for your ex as it has you. This means that both of you have grown in some ways and if the relationship is renewed it can be improved.

Begin your strategies slowly. A simple phone call is usually a good start toward getting your ex back. I do not believe in playing hard to get but I do think that you should let your ex know that you are now involved in new activities. Do not spend a lot of time on the phone call. Keep it brief, saying that you just wanted to say hi and see how he or she is doing.

If your ex suggests meeting do not jump at the opportunity. Instead you could say that you will call them back tomorrow to let them know; perhaps you could tell them that you actually had other plans for that time but you may be able to reschedule. This will do two things; first it allows you time for another phone call, and second, it gives you time to plan how to handle the conversation on the phone and anytime that you will have together.

The point is that you need to take things slowly. Jumping back into the relationship too quickly often results in another break up soon afterward. Take your time getting to know that person all over again. This phase can be a lot of fun. But more than that, you will be building a friendship that will provide a solid foundation for your relationship. That friendship will be key to getting your ex back.

Article Source: http://www.bluearticles.com


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Debbie Allen is an Internet marketer & writer.

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