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Sorry Is Not Always Good Enough

By: Hege Crowton

If you are in a relationship you know that the words, I am sorry doesn’t always mean anything. You have heard them all too often and know there is no regret behind them. This goes both ways in a relationship but maybe the parties involved simply does not know how to apologize in an effective manner. Instead of using these words so often maybe it would be better to prove you are sorry.

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere. On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action. Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.

The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not repeated. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere. On the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action. Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.

Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really proves that you are sorry. Many people are quick to offer an apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is upset. Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t sincere in your apology. This is not an effective way to make an apology. However, if you offer a specific reason for your apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt the other person and that do not want to repeat that action.

Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be sure to offer the apology in person. Having a third party speak to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or voice mail conveys a lack of caring. This kind of apology shows that you aren’t truly sorry for your actions. Meeting with the person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry. It shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to the disagreement.

In apologizing, if you want to prove that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the person you are apologizing to. Your apology is about telling the other person why you believe that you did something wrong. While they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time to point out their faults. Instead take full responsibility for what you have done wrong. Accepting full responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the other person will prove that your apology is sincere.

A genuine apology will also include telling the other person why your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them in the future. Doing this proves to them not only that you understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were wrong. It also lets them know that you have already formulated a plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in the future.

Do not wait too long to apologize to someone because if you wait too long it can be read as if you do not care. Timing is everything when it comes to letting them know you are sorry for what you have done. Also don’t go to the other party and offer an apology while they are still upset. Let them be allowed to vent their anger and approach them after they start to calm down. Perhaps at this time you both are able to discuss the matter without any of you getting hurt or upset.

In a relationship there are always issues which need to be addressed and resolved. In other words, it takes a lot of work for a relationship to run smooth and the number one factor is communication and being able and willing to both give and take.

Article Source: http://www.bluearticles.com


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